"He did not harass," he snaps. "Don't say that about him. I wouldn't have survived if he hadn't been there. Don't tell me I look at you that way."
Deep breath. Please.
There was a time where he could have been graceful about this. Everything that Hawk is rightfully chewing him out for, he would have already known to do. Maybe he can't blame the Village for everything, but it does seem right to say that he lost an awful lot of his graces there. Does he even know what honesty is? How much does he give, how much does he withhold until it just becomes secrecy again? He spent so much time holding everything in, punished for every word, does he even know how to let go without doing... this?
"I believe you, Hawkeye." It's easy to, like this. "I know that you're not him. And if I should forget, that's my fault, and mine to deal with. Knowing this, what I want from you should be the easiest thing you've ever done. I want you as you are. Your jokes and your kindness, even your despair, and even this, all of it is good. Being with you in those first few months on the island was enough. Scorn me or don't; I won't ask anything of you that's against your nature."
How does he learn to exist without hurting himself and everyone around him? He knew once.
"I can try to explain the rest without doing what I have just done. I'd like to. I want to give you what you came here for, and I still have one more piece of news from home for you, but if you feel finished, then I won't trap you here."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2024-09-27 06:13 pm (UTC)Deep breath. Please.
There was a time where he could have been graceful about this. Everything that Hawk is rightfully chewing him out for, he would have already known to do. Maybe he can't blame the Village for everything, but it does seem right to say that he lost an awful lot of his graces there. Does he even know what honesty is? How much does he give, how much does he withhold until it just becomes secrecy again? He spent so much time holding everything in, punished for every word, does he even know how to let go without doing... this?
"I believe you, Hawkeye." It's easy to, like this. "I know that you're not him. And if I should forget, that's my fault, and mine to deal with. Knowing this, what I want from you should be the easiest thing you've ever done. I want you as you are. Your jokes and your kindness, even your despair, and even this, all of it is good. Being with you in those first few months on the island was enough. Scorn me or don't; I won't ask anything of you that's against your nature."
How does he learn to exist without hurting himself and everyone around him? He knew once.
"I can try to explain the rest without doing what I have just done. I'd like to. I want to give you what you came here for, and I still have one more piece of news from home for you, but if you feel finished, then I won't trap you here."