"What I want is for a friend not to freeze me out. Do I have to get every inch of viscera along with it? Do you expect me to- to cut myself open and let you rifle around inside me too? 'We had a difficult relationship on the ship, Hawk'- now that? That's something I might actually be able to chew on! And now what- do you want me to comfort you? Am I even allowed near you?" Hawk doesn't know the full shape of it even now, but he can imagine some amount of repulsion to him, it's not difficult.
"I can do something about Henry if I go back," he doesn't notice the slip, "I can't do anything about this. Look- I'm sorry for all of it. You know I am. If I could swap places, I would, if I could cut this out of you like it's shrapnel, I would, but what do you want from me that I can actually do?"
Both hands go out in gesture.
"Am I just meant to take that news like it's not a problem? Am I meant to be acting like I didn't just see you freak out and then act like nothing happened? Are you just going to shut down again if I ask anything? You never-" used to be like this, or if he did not where Hawk could see it, "I'm done. If this is just what trying to talk to you is like now then I don't want it. I can't- I can't handle you- you looking at me like I'm the guy that harassed you in hell. I don't know what got into that other me, but I wouldn't, and I don't care if you believe me on that."
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Date: 2024-09-27 07:55 am (UTC)"I can do something about Henry if I go back," he doesn't notice the slip, "I can't do anything about this. Look- I'm sorry for all of it. You know I am. If I could swap places, I would, if I could cut this out of you like it's shrapnel, I would, but what do you want from me that I can actually do?"
Both hands go out in gesture.
"Am I just meant to take that news like it's not a problem? Am I meant to be acting like I didn't just see you freak out and then act like nothing happened? Are you just going to shut down again if I ask anything? You never-" used to be like this, or if he did not where Hawk could see it, "I'm done. If this is just what trying to talk to you is like now then I don't want it. I can't- I can't handle you- you looking at me like I'm the guy that harassed you in hell. I don't know what got into that other me, but I wouldn't, and I don't care if you believe me on that."