"Did I have no other opti-" Hawk tries to ask in amidst it, but if Mulcahy even hears him, he doesn't answer. There he goes, down some rabbit hole that Hawk can't possibly hope to follow him down. Listing experiences that didn't happen, feelings that Hawk searches his chest for and just doesn't find. Dying next to him on the lifeboats was awful, seeing Mulcahy's ghost was nearly a relief, but-
He feels something erupt in him, like if this doesn't give he's really going to snap, like the difference between losing a leg or dying to a landmine.
"I'M NOT DEAD."
Hawk feels it burn through him like a shot of adrenaline, desperate to just have it said so he knows he isn't sitting here a ghost on Mulcahy's couch.
"I'M NOT! I'M NOT DEAD- I'M NOT DEAD-" he iterates again, and again, "AND I DON'T- you knew some other guy but I'm not in love with you. Will you - stop saying I'm dead! Stop it!"
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He feels something erupt in him, like if this doesn't give he's really going to snap, like the difference between losing a leg or dying to a landmine.
"I'M NOT DEAD."
Hawk feels it burn through him like a shot of adrenaline, desperate to just have it said so he knows he isn't sitting here a ghost on Mulcahy's couch.
"I'M NOT! I'M NOT DEAD- I'M NOT DEAD-" he iterates again, and again, "AND I DON'T- you knew some other guy but I'm not in love with you. Will you - stop saying I'm dead! Stop it!"